Okay, I know it's Saturday. My English Prof., who is pretty freaking cool, gives us little handouts each Friday. She calls it "Friday Thing"! I love it, so her Friday thing will now be my Friday thing (or Saturday!)
Enjoy!
Winners of the "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay" contest
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and 'Jeopardy' comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Long seperated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, on having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
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2 comments:
I love it! I think my favorite was the last one about the hummingbirds. I wonder if the kids who wrote these will ever look back with incredulity at how dumb these metaphors are.
I loved them too! I was trying to read them to some of my friends and was laughing so hard that someone else had to do it.
Megs
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