Sunday, January 10, 2010

With one final deep breath, my brother in law left this life. He was surrounded by family that had been by his side for many hours helping to make the end of this journey a pleasant one. I was touched as his mom lowered herself to his ear and tenderly whispered, "Todd, thank you for letting me be your mom." How could I not let the tears flow? I have had to bury both of my parents, but I can't imagine what it must be like to bury a child or a husband. That is what tears me up the most. Todd is now free from the pains and the stresses of mortal life. I hope that he is running around and enjoying his new surroundings. I think that should be allowed for a bit. I hope that he gets to meet my mom and dad.

My regret is that I didn't allow myself to get to know him better. I feel saddend that I let it pass me by. I marvel at all the love people had for him and I feel bad that I didn't know him as well. I hope someday that I will get the chance.

I am extremely grateful for my faith in an afterlife. I know that this life is not all there is. I know that death is just part of our eternal progression and brings us one step closer to our heavenly home. It still doesn't mean that the seperation between this life and then next doesn't cause us to feel deep sorrow or grief. I think that's natural. We know that they get to live on, but we just don't get to interact with them as we once did.

I am deeply touched by those that have reached out to me and offered love and support. I am touched by friends of my little sister who stayed at the hospital day in and day out. That is love.

I was honored to be allowed to be there while Todd was going through the process of dying.

To my baby sis: I love you.




1 comment:

Brianna and Wade said...

Hey I really appreciated your lesson yesterday. You did a great job as always. Your strength and faith through all of this has been amazing. Know that wade and I are praying for you and you family