Jury Duty...

That's right! I am a lucky juror. I have been selected to be on a jury for a case that has lasted two weeks. We are in the home stretch. Sitting in a jury box for hours can get a tad bit boring, so I have come up with my own list of things to do while sitting in a jury box and sometimes listening to the witnesses.

10. Give the lawyers nicknames. I have chosen: Speedy G, Props, Chef Boyardee, and Loopy Lon.

9. In your head, give your fellow jurors cute, stylish haircuts.

8. Come up with the dialogue between lawyers and judge at sidebar. "I noticed that tie you are wearing. Where did you get it?"

7. Come up with the dialogue that the lawyers write on the little yellow post it notes that are passed back and forth. "Dude, I totally worked my legs yesterday at the gym and my bum is so sore. Will you take this witness? I can barely stand!"

6. Figure out a way to get students and staff to stand up every time you enter the room.

5. Come up with theme songs for all of the witnesses. For example: It's my party and I'll cry if I want to! But you could change the word party to trial.

4. Make a list of all the words you NEVER want to hear again.....devastated, November, objections, vague, sustained, "let's go for another hour" etc.

3. Imagine how the lawyers and judge spend their evenings. I think one of the lawyers looks like he could be in an after hours band....like Midnight Oil. I think the judge is a temple worker.

2. "If I had to kiss this male witness, could I?"

1. Try super de duper hard to not either fall asleep, fart, or pee my pants.